Raced the sun today and got done well into evening bordering on twilight. It was dark enough that I started to run on the sidewalks for the last ¾ of a mile. Starting out I knew I had time; but I knew I had to hustle. I was thinking about what it would be like running down (in this case up as at this point I would be heading north) into Madawaska trying to wrap my head around the enormity of this project, and my thoughts kept drifting back to my sister, then my wife.
I received a text today from my sister telling me that one of my posts was inspirational. That these are the concepts she works on with the people she works with. It made me feel really good that I made her feel that way. Sometimes I get the feeling that she is awed by what I do. To me, I am the same guy I have seen in the mirror forever. There is nothing special about me; but she thinks there is. Why? I thought. I have not done anything particularly remarkable. But then again, maybe I have. I thought about the reasons why she sees me in a different light. I settled on that she looks at me as a whole person, and I look at me in small parts. Pieces. She sees 85 pounds lost, I see one pound lost 85 times. Losing one pound is not remarkable. She sees an Ivy League degree, I see two years at community college and two more on the hill. Two years at two places, anyone can do that. I have a lot to learn from what she sees.
The reverse is also true. One three sentence text made my day. SHE finds ME inspirational. Got me thinking about the support she is giving me in this. I asked for her help with some things as she is a copy editor. After explaining the concept, she was fascinated. Wow. Something I thought of fascinated her. She is the creative one. If I can fascinate her, this must be slick.
There I am, faintly thinking about Maine and cruising effortlessly into Madawaska; more solidly thinking about a blog post thanking my sister for support. Instead of feeling fun and happy, I pick up a twinge of guilt. Following this feeling, I find my wife. I need to thank her, too. In her own way she is showing me more support than she has about a lot of things. She understands this is a big project and, while saying she did not want to do this together, she is making the effort to make sure I have time. She is excited when I tell her the Town Manager of Madawaska returned my e-mail. She is excited for me, because I am excited. She is excited because she loves me.
Sometimes when I run my mind goes into neutral. Sometimes I work out a problem. Today was a gem of a run. Not because I was fast or I won. Because I realized I have two incredible women with me. I started today 4.5 miles from Madawaska and with my 5.18 mile run I am right in the center of town. Right near the Big Kmart. My wife and my sister may think they are smiling on the sidelines watching me. They are not. I am at my second stop; so is my sister, so is my wife. I am glad they are here.
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